From Relationship to Relationshit

By Dora A. Ayora Talavera  | @DoraAyora

We can play with language: it is enough changing a letter to transform words as well the perspective and meaning they have. Let’s see!

Every human interaction starts as a relation, plainly, assuming that two people come into contact at the first moment without any information about each other. It is difficult, only if it is a casual and hazardous meeting, which is free of predispositions and expectations.

Thereon that bond can become a friendship, a work relationship, a love relationship. The passing of time, interaction, dialogue, circumstances, acquired knowledge, created expectations, will and interest, will transform that casual meeting into something common and quotidian.

I think that every relationship is in power, considering that no relation “is”. They have to be constructed, they have to be made every day. Not even the basic relationships like mother & child, couple or family are natural and spontaneous.

Every relationship is full of social meanings about how they must to be, but they are not until we make them. Mother and child relationships and couple relationships are not naturally loving, nor friendship relations are spontaneously respectful, not even boss & employee relationships are including.

Into dialogue, as a way of interaction, we choose words to communicate. Those words help to shape our relationships until they become —no definitively neither statically— ways of living.

It is not my task to clarify what changes first, the relationships or which words we use to name them. What is evident is that, something happens between a mother and her son when he stop being “the light of her eyes” to become “that dirty and unbearable son”; when a husband stop being “my cupid” to become “that good for nothing man”; when your boss stop being “a model to follow” to become “a neurotic and embittered woman”.

Relationships change and the way we talk about them change too. Not only the words we use are different, but the tune in out voice changes, our not-verbal language and every way to signify is transformed.

How easy is loving, respecting and admiring to “the light of my eyes”, “my love” and “my model” and what difficult is to love what is “unbearable, useless and bitter”. Language is dangerous; it has the power to transform our living together and everyday dialogue, changing from loving “Relationships” to unsustainable “Relationshits”

If we can choose what word we will us to name something, which word we will communicate; if we can think what we will say and stop before behaving… why are there some relations in which we decide to be offensive, rude and disrespectful while in other relations we are kind, attentive and tender?

Change playfully a “t” for a “p” at the end of a word, seems very funny, but what sad and uncomfortable could be when that word represents a relationship that has changed.

Playing with language is risky, we should not despise it. It can create as extraordinary realities and relationships as destructive. What word do you like to construct?

R E L A T I O N S H I _ S. Take your chance!

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